Seriously, I have really wanted to write on here, but I feel like I have nothing to say. Good News I found a JOB. Really good news for all my friends and family b/c a sista was broke. I've been so busy lately. Nor just from work, but I think I gotta LIFE. Its been awhile, lol. I've been hanging with some new ppl which is cool. I 'm also learning that I'm not missing much. The best advice I could ever give someone is to NOT MOVE TO HOUSTON. I thought is was boring b4 but now its just turning ghetto. I contribute it to our new VISTORS although they seem to think this is LA and there is no going back. On a daily basis I see shit that is uncalled for. From clothes to outta control ass behavior. I'm about to get my ass up outta her b4 the drive by starts. I was getting my nails done yesterday and this heffa was trippin. First let me explain that Nextel/Sprint went and lost their mind and every New Orleans person I see has a damn cell phone with the walky talkly. How do I know they got walky talky b/c they are everywhere with that shit on full volume no matter where they are. Odviously this must be new to them b/c they do not know how to use the shit in the appropriate manner. This heffa is in the nail shop with her shit on speaker phone loud as hell paying her Sprint bill b/c her phone got cut off for non payment. YOu must be asking how do I know this. B/c this heffa let the whole shop hear how much she owes, for how long and how much she gonna pay b/c the whole things is on speaker phone. How does your bill get to $300 dollars? Also why did she only pay $100 but was gettin 3 of here friends nails and toes did. This is a prime example of how fast the money given by America is dwindling on Bullshit. NO one seems to have their priorites in order. Houston is becomiing Houston ppl vs. NO ppl in everything. I dont even listen to the radio anymore. All you hear is that GOD AWFUL Laffy Taffy song. I want to shoot myself everytime I here that shit. Oh and they wont let it die, now they play the remix. OK OK OK I'm calm and I'm done ranting about this Lousinana bullshit. Last word is BUSH get ya shit together and get they shit back running PLEASE.
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I have also noticed lately that men have lost their mind and I now know why I dont get laid on the regular. Now just to let you know this may get a bit deep and should not be read by audience under 18 aight. Ok so me and a friend went out with these 2 dudes. 1 of the dudes is her firend who has tryed to holla at me b4. They were about 5 dollas from being scrubs, but they were her homeboys. So we are chilling having drinks and they soon make it very clear they trying to get some ass. I dunno if its just a Houston thing but men her have no GAME or cant seem to articulate a better way of asking for ass except stupid shit like "can i smash"/"I need a playa patna" (which means a fuck buddy)/ Lets go to a room (which usualy means hourly WTF). The point is that shit dont fly with me. I'm trying to get mine like you trying to get yours, so i'm not settling for no BS. So after I get this info my name is giggles for they rest of the night b/c all I can do is laugh at this dude. He is not use to a female like me and he has underestimated my mouth piece. So we leave the place we are drinking and they take us to get some food. I have by then made it very clear that my girl can do whatever she want, but I not for it. Dont get me wrong the dude is cute, he seem like he working with something, and it had been a while so I would have been down(excluding the hourly motel ewww), but he said some stupid shit to me. The worst thing you can ever say to me is. I need some head, but I dont give it. ITs like a loud brake screech in my head and I look at this dude and laugh. I was like I dont have sex unlessI get full service. This dude is looking at me shocked like he has never heard a women say what she wanted before. The whole time we eating he trying to covince me why I dont need a 100% attention just like he do. Everytime he talks it so wack I laugh. This seems to annoy him which makes me giggle even more. He tells my friend i'm hullin him, which means I'm treating him like some punk ass dude b/c I want some tounge service. WTF. So that night ended with him going home alone, but that has not stopped him from still trying. Its like dude that wasnt just that night. You will not catch me slippin on that requirement. The funny part is I now now that PUSSY really does run the world. I can see in his eyes he wanna give in and eventually he will. Moral is dont settle for anything hold out for the best baby. What one wont do another will trust me I KNOW. SFC ~Smooches~
Dang! Its been awhile,but I just haven't had the urge to write. I'm lost. Its like I'm in a maze and I know the right way b/c I've been here b4 but I cant bring myself to get out. I'm so comfortable in my rut of counter productive behavior I don't know anything else. I am so off track and it would be so easy to get back on. MY problem is that I am too inpatient. I want things to change over night when I know it not an option. I also procrastinate like no other. I always put off the important things though. The things I need I find away to convince myself they can wait. In the end I'm full of regret. I know the life I see for myself is way more than what I'm living right now. ***************************************************************************************
So on a lighter note. I've been good meeting new ppl and some old ppl that r just new to me now. I stared talking to this chick I went to high school with. Now in high school we were cool b/c we had gym together, but that about it. She was into not doing work or even coming to school most of the time among other things. I was on my grind trying to do well. We hung out the other day and it was weird b/c she is so opposite of anyone I would hang out with b/c of the shady/ criminal things she does. I think I could write a book about this chick tho. IT might be better the the Coldest Winter Ever. Her life is like a ghetto novel for sure. She is so smart when it comes to hustling and getting over one someone. She tries to convince me of how easy it is.but that is not my style. I'm book smart. I can tell you how to improve your profit from you schemes, but I cant personally get involved. I may not be on tract right no,b UT I got shit to do with my life and it don't include JAIL. I admire a lot about her tho. One of the best days I had in awhile. Its good to see the other life sometimes . ***********************************************************************************
LAtely I feel like ppl have been making little comments I don't really like. I know yall remember the chick I had to read a a while back. Well now her and my friend have started talking again which is so cool. YOU choose the company you keep not ME. Anyway little comments have been made like. From one friend " I have learned (since the incident) that you cant mix friends". WTF does that mean. Then another friend said "well you said some things that were not at the appropriate time and that was wrong but you should just let it go and be friends again" WTF is it just me or r they saying in a nice way that what I did was wrong and they can bring no one around me. I mean I could understand if I talked that crazy to ppl on the regular, but this is the 1st time and the BITCH deserved it. Then I had a party last week and one of my friend (who was planning it with me) invited her. Oddly I didn't have a problem with this. I can be civil. I had been civil the whole time with her. What really pissed me off is my friend telling ppl that I was sorry for what I said. Just so everyone can understand "I AM NOT SORRY FOR CALLING HER ON HER BULLSHIT AND NEVER IN LIFE WILL I APOLOGIZE." maybe its just me. but I'm sure I will her about this later from someone. Anyways that's all my ranting for now. ~smooches~ SFC
I haven't had much to say lately. Things have been going well. Went out on Sat. Had a great time. THe music sucked though. The DJ was from New Orleans. They are wayyyyyyyyyyyy behind Houston seems like. Its so weird here now b/c u can tell who is not from here. THey dress different. Its like a different standard of black folk. Like Houston chicks will leave the house with their hair uncombed,but N.O ppl leave the house with rags on their head (SMH at both). I am also annoyed that the other day I see this chick walking down the street with her little baby in this raggedy ass stroller no shoes or socks on, but she had a Vuton backpack on WTF. This is leading me to believe in the coming months when ppl stop giving and there is no more aid for them Houston is going to turn into the N.O. Meaning all the crime and shit is going to sprout here. I mean they are even more desperate now. I understand now why ppl dont want to help. I saw on another blog where this chick was saying the goverment should make restricitions on what they get to do with the money given. I thought it was wrong at first but it makes since now. I mean consider if you came form nothing. Like you before Katrina was poverty. NOw you gettin all this aid. What you gonna do with it. Buy everything you ever WANTED not what you NEED. Their are a few ppl staying at my mom's church. Keep in mind everything they get is free, but now they are complaining about the food and other things. Me personally would be glad someone is helping me period after this. Anyways I dont think ppl realized how much it would effect our city. **********************************************
Back to the club. I had so much fun laughing at all the fashion disasters. ITs like ppl have no true friends or HORRIBLE taste.THIS IS A PUBILC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT TO ALL WOMEN ( NOT JUST THE FAT CHICKS B/C U SKINNY ONES BE LACKING TOO) EVERYTHING IS NOT MADE FOR YOU. I think women feel just b/c they skinny they can wear anything. Let me be honest with you. You look the FOOL. I'm not saying i'm the best dresser, but I am saying I know what looks good and flatters me and thats what I wear. *************************SO here is an update on my last post. The girl called my close friend and told him she didint want to be his friend anymore. WTF I dont know what to say about that. I guess some bitches never learn. ***********************************Put a few pic of me playing with me cam phone. I think I am slowly becoming conceided. I guess its better then being the sterotypical fat girl. I love me and I dont give a fuck who dont. ~Smooches~
This post will show a side of me most ppl dont get to see
So, this is going to be a long post b/c I have to start at the beginning for you to understand. One of my closest friends has this friend he hangs out with. When I met her I didn’t really like her, but I am far from rude. She is his friend so I would not come at her like that b/c I respect him. SO I tolerated her. I tolerated her smart-ass comments. I tolerated her quick jabs at my confidence. She basically is one of those chicks that hate to see another confident person. She always wants to be the center of attention. The fact that I am a big girl and she didn’t intimidate me pissed her off I think. Don’t get me wrong she is tall and cute. I am not a hater. I will give her that. She would say little things every time I saw her. They were insults, but not for the slow minded. I guess she thought I didn’t catch it, but I did. Again I let is go b/c She is His friend and b/c I'm better than that. It’s not my fault u r not comfortable with you. I have never changed me for anyone. She is the classic skinny bitch Mo'nique talks about. Anyway a few weeks ago Bobby (the close friend) tells me he wants to have a surprise party for her. I automatically get a bad feeling. This girl is really ungrateful on a normal day and I personally didn’t think she deserved it. But again I'm not rude, so I agreed. SO we plan all the shit. One of my friends spent like 40 dollars on food and decorations. Then Bobby spent money on some other stuff for her. IT was wayyyyyyyyyyyy nicer than any shit I would have done. SO When I got there I relaxed. IT was a really nice set up. I would have been so happy that someone did all this for me. SO even though I didn’t think she deserved one I was going to try to make this nice for her b/c THAT THE PERSON I AM. So she finally get there and we yell surprise. She screams and turns around. We are all waiting for her to come in. She doesn’t. So I go outside and she is sitting on the step. I ask her what’s the problem and why she not coming in. She all like I need a minute and she gets on her cell phone, but this bitch has the nerve to ask me where is her drink. I don’t trip I walk back in the house and from that moment decide it is best if I don’t speak to her or I might ruin the party even more. I can only hold my tongue about shit for so long and being intoxicated does not help. Like 15 minutes later she comes in. She asks, “were is my drink”. She doesn’t hug anyone or say thank you. Bobby tells her to go say hi to the guest. She's like what guest. I was like OMG this is not going to be good. IT was like 7 ppl there. You must understand though that we have a close group of friends. It’s not very big. She knows this b/c she is forever inviting herself to something. It’s always the core ppl and then we meet new ppl so we add and remove as needed. All the main ppl were there. Beside that Bobby advertised this party and theses are the ppl that decided to show. Which shows you how much ppl care about her at least her supposed true friend b/c they didn’t show. Anyway Bobby’s like could you just go and say hi to the ppl that r here they came for you. SO then she asked again where is her drink. Bobby pulls out a bottle of Boone. She was like all I get is this cheap shit. OMG I'm still trippin that this chick is sooooooooooooo fucking rude to someone that is really close to me. I can tell this shit is hurting his feelings and making him wish he never did it. SO then she goes and opens the fridge and sees her little weed brownies we made for her. This annoys Bobby even further and he tells her to sit down. SO by this time I'm like lets get this shit over with. SO I start to put candles on it and such. She is sitting with her boyfriend telling him how she doesn’t like this party. She says this loud enough for me to hear. I don’t know if anyone else caught it. Pretty much she was frontin in front of her man like we were her second rate friends. Pretty much like she was embarrassed of us. But she is the first one inviting herself to ppls get together or their house. Anyway So I light the candle and take her the brownies. She blows them out. After she counts to make sure it was 21 candles. Then she was like I get the first piece and I need a plate to take some home. Now at this point I am sooooooooooo pissed and annoyed its silly, but I keep my cool fix her a piece to take home and then I start handing out the rest. After this I go in the other room b/c if I had to continue to listen it would not be cool. So she stays in the dinning room with her man for almost the entire time she is there, while the rest of the ppl r in the living room. So she finally comes in there only b/c we r smoking and she want some. So she gets a few hit and then she's like I gotta go. She gives everyone a fake hug and her and her man leave. I counted to 5 and made my announcement. BTW I, at this point, have consumed a whole bottle of champagne, weed brownies and I smoked. I was gone beyond belief. Everyone that truly knows me knows I do not bite my tongue often. The only reason why I did not call her out is b/c SHE is HIS friend and I respect him and it was her little party so I didn’t want to ruin what she had already done. I stress this so ppl will understand why I took so much shit from her b/c he seemed like he really liked her. SO after she left I said and I quote " I DONT LIKE THAT BITCH. YOU CAN BRING HER AROUND BUT FROM THIS POINT I DONT LIKE HER. I'M DONE WITH HER." Someone must have asked what happen. I was so mad as I was telling them I didn’t notice that she had walked back into the house. She must have been waiting on the stairs to see if we said anything b/c she came back in. By the time I see her my mouth will not stop and I'm like fuck it she shouldn’t have came back. I was trying to be nice and spare her feelings. So she asks Bobby was she ungrateful and rude. He says yes. She's like why didn’t u tell me that. And he says it wasn’t the place, I was going to talk to you about it later. Now I’m really mad b/c not only was she rude and ungrateful she came back in like she was the shit and made a scene and embarrassed him more. SO she ask me how I felt. I swear on everything I told this girl not to ask me that and to leave. She said NO tell me how u feel. What she do that for yall? TO tell you the truth I don’t remember what I said word for word, but the only word that can describe what I did was READ her. Yes it a str8 gay term, but I didn’t really cuss her out. I told her how the fuck she was rude and that I didn’t like it. In the word of my mom I did it in a Nicesty way. I was nasty in a nice way. At the end of my spill I was like just get the fuck out. She turned around and left. She didn’t say a word that I can remember. The room was quiet. When I get really mad I cry. I felt so exhausted. Like all the shit I ever wanted to call her on just flew out. I had not noticed that I had become passive aggressive with her b/c I didn’t want bad feeling between my friend and me. I think I scared the shit out of some ppl. I don’t want ppl to think I am a bitch, but when it comes to ppl I love I get more mad then when its me. I can handle her rudeness, but it is impossible for me to see my friends hurt. I apologized to everyone b/c I have not gone off on someone like this for a while. When I’m pissed, I don’t care about ur feelings or what I say. I'm mad at myself for holding my tongue for so long though. I knew something bad was going to happen when he asked about this party. She is the most ungrateful self-centered bitch I ever met. I don’t see how ppl walk through life thinking their shit don’t stink. Now it’s a new day and I don’t know how my actions will play in the light. I feel bad, but not for reading her. I feel bad that I did it to his friend and I know now that I will never be able to be around her if him and her remain friends. I hope I don’t live to regret my bluntness. I truly believe she needs it though. She is very selfish and that is the root of most of her problems. This wasn’t the end of my night, but I'm kinda drained from writing this. Moral of this story is never assume someone is intimidated or even rattled by ur presence. Never be so fucking ungrateful to ppl that care for you. Oh and never underestimate a FAT CHICK ~smooches~!
I just wanted to thank all the ppl that visit my site. Feed back on ya life is nice sometimes. I was thinking today of what I really want our of a mate. I dont fee like I'm that picky really. I recently met someone that is not really my usual type, but I'm attracted to the person. The personality seems nice and the person is intelligent (thats a must). I hate when ppl say they dont have a type. Everyone has a type. I mean if there is no physical attraction then whats the point. Why would I want to be with someone who doesnt find me sexy. I mean mutal attraction is a must. I was talking to someone the other day and they were saying how they had sexy with this chick and they couldnt get into it. There were no odvious reasons like odor or inexperience. They just really hated the sex. I told them it was b/c there was no attraction. I mean yes, u can have sex with someone u r not attracted to, but the orgasim is not the same. I know this from experience. They could be doing eveything right, but you are just not feeling the person. I personally dont want anyone that does not think I am the most beautiful person in the world and vice versa. ******I'm begining to think I push ppl away. I dont know if I just feel like the relationship is going to result in bs and end it to save myself the trouble or if Iam so afraid of letting anyone in I just push everyone away. I want to be in a happy committed realtionship. I HATE BEING SINGLE. I also refuse to settle for b/s when I know I can do better. I feel like I am the only person in the world who has not had an long term relationship. I guess things happen when were ready. ~smooches~
Ok, so I wasn't going to write about this at first, but the person took it too far. So I've been talking to this person. The convo was ok, but I knew there was something strange. I always give ppl the benefit of the doubt b4 forming a opinion. SO as we gradely talk this person began to tell me they love me. I know I dont. I do not take those words litely. Then I notice they call me alot. I mean like 10 times a day or more. Maybe I was giving off the wrong impression. At least that is what my friend said. I on the other hand thought I was making myself very clear about taking it slow and not rushing. WEll yesterday this person called me like all day. I would tell them "oh, I'm being rude to my friends I will call u back later which I was. Like 30 min later they would call me back even tho I said I was busy. SO then I stop answering. I cant take someone somthering me. I need my space and I dont like talking on the phone all damn day. This person called me about 15 times in a 4 hour span. Not only that they called me from unknown and had a friend I dont really know call me as well. With them on three way, but they thought I was BRAND NEW and did not know. This was also after I called back after the first 8 missed calls and said stop calling me so much. I am busy and I will call u back. I mean I dont understand. If you know someone is busy and not answering WHY would you keep calling me. THis leads me to believe everyone on the internet is KooKoo for COCO Puffs. THe biggest thing is I have nerver met this person. WE are in that talking stage. Me deciding if they are worth meeting and not crazy. Well I guess I know the truth now. I mean the person seemed like someone I could at least be friends with. Now its a different story. ****I also have noticed that ppl need to stop getting high/drunk b/c they tend to tell others buisiness. These newbies can not handle it man. I am so calm and cool when I am intoxicated. Others run off at the mouth and start telling me shit I didint know. Of course (winks) I will never admit I know or bring it up, but its weird the things ppl dont wont u to know. LOL but they felt confortable telling the person that just told their dirt. O well I guess we all trust in certain ppl for differnt reasons. I can only think of one secret I told. I use to regret it, but now i'm happy I did for many reason. I think it was for the best and it will help more than it will hurt in the long run. *****So my "I Survived Rita" party is yet to take form b/c all but 2 of my friends left( ha ha losers). That's all folks ~smooches~
I made it lol. Well Rita took a turn and pretty much missed us. We got a little rain and some crazy wind but we aight. Our power is not off either odviously, so we came out very blessed. The new problem with our area is getting ppl back in. I mean everything is closed and there is no gas. Houston is almost like a ghost town. Their advising us not to leave our house wvwn tho the storm has passed. MY question is why would you leave ur house unless u going down the street. I mean EVERYTHING is closed. I think I may die of bordom or kill my cousins b4 we are released. Upside is no school or work untill most likely Wendsday. There is about to be some horrible traffic again with all the ppl coming back in. I pray someone sends us some gas or we are shit outta luck. I think I'm going to have a I Survived Rita Party with some Margaritas lol. I need a drink after all the work we did to secure my sissy's house. I need to smoke lol. I can't wait to buy a fat 20 sac lol ~SMooches~
When I get in a mood I dont wanna talk or type. I been in that modd for a minute as u can see. So life hasne been so bad since the last time I wrote. Still job searching, but I did get unemployment for my last stupid job. I'm home alone. My sister and fam is in Maine whale atching and such, while I am perparing for another Katrina named Rita. Ppl are not takeing this very seriously. I pray this will not be as bad and I wont be floating to saftey with my family. This is too weird tho. I mean is it a Coincident that most of the N.O ppl came to Houston and now we are getting hit with it. Someone or thing is trying to tell us something. I'm not going to mention my theory b/c ppl keep freaking out when I do.
*********************************************************************************So my sister left on Saturday. I've had 2 parties thus far. This storm is messing up my weekend. Anyway they were nice get together. I've noticed that I am an extra generous person b/c I like to see ppl have a good time. I see these ppl as my friends and thats what real friends to right. The second pary was great b/c there was no dry ppltheir like the one b4. I dont understand ppl that come to parties that really dont drink or smoke when u know that is whats going to happen. YOu make everyone is the room annoyed. STAY AT HOME. The second party was great until a "friend" who I now realixe after 5 years of putting up with shit, that he is not down for me. He does shit ll the time and expects ppl to deal with it even after you have told him how you feel about it. Its like him repeatedly saying Fuck YOu or spitting on your face. he shows up to my house yet again with a thief and a hoe. I mean I dont really talk to these ppl he brought to my house and on top of that he didnt tell me he was bringing them. He is so fraud in so many was. The worst part is I have told him a million times about bringing ppl not only to my house but other friends house without letting them know. I mean we have a close group of friends that hang out. We all know how each other is and we accept that. The ppl he insist on bring is really out of place. I was so mad. I almost let is ruin my night until I made the decision. I'm done with him. He has no respect,shit I dont think he even cares for anyone but himself. ITs all about what he can get from you or someone else. Its real sad b/c everyone is like that is how he is. WTF why should you let someone be like that to you. I know exactly why I have been dealing with is for the last year b/c I feel obligated and responsible for a grown ass man's actions. Now I'm done. I cant call this person my friend. Sadly I dont thnk he will ever change. He doesnt know it yet but he has lost me. The only person that is always there for him. I'm done with BS friendships that are a one way waste of time. ~smooches~
So on THursday I got fired from my job b/c business is slow and I was unwilling to do the inaccurate telemarketing they wanted. I kinda of figured this would happen. I havent really told anyone. Everyone knows how I am when I am unemployed. I got into block out mod. I stop calling ppl and do me. I dont wanna go out, b/c I aint got the paper for that. I am so strong willed and independent. I'm just ugh with everyone right now. Ppls tru colors are showing and I'm beginning to wonder why I try. SO, the only way any of them will know is if they read my blog. Which I am noticing ppl are then calling me asking me shit I know I didnt tell them. I'm just tired of being the one putting in all the effort or not feeling supported when I need it. I am always there when ppl need me b/c that is the kind of person I am. I listen give advice and do what I can when you need me. Ppl dont do that shit to often with me. I feel like there is never anyone here to truely lean on in CONFIDENCE. Not depressed yet. I cant be without a job tho. That shit is too boring for me. I will go crazy. Pray for me and all our new residents/ refugees.
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On a lighter note, A friend and I went out on Friday. I really didnt want to go, but she seems to be able to guilt me or what have u into doing shit I dont want to b/c I feel bad. So we went to this club. Which sucked so I wanted to leave after the 1st drink. So we left and went to this after spot that wasnt hype yet b/c it was too early. So I was like just take me home. Of course I can never get what I ask. Her response is no, I dont want to go home yet. I mean I dont understand some women. You so happy with your good man ( who is really trif), but you wanna go out and find some dick on the side. Why? Get rid of the bullshit you already got in ya life b4 u go get some more. And I swear I am sick of women one minute talking about how horrible they man is and when I tell you the truth like you ask me too and you start defending him. DO me a fucking favor. Dont tell me shit. I dont want to know. You not gonna leave so keep the shit to yaself. Then these women are the main ones to tell you why you aint got a (triffling) man like theirs. NEWS FLASH I dont want a man like urs. I would rather be by my damn self. Anyway, She begs me for like 30 minutes to go into this place that I knew was damn near empty and I wouldnt like. I wasted $5 and I didnt like the shit. So we left like an hour later. As we walk to the car a dude in the car beside us ask her what is my name. She tells him and he's like tell her to come here. So I was like you tell him to come here. I almost lost my mine when she tells me. He like big girls you betta go to him. LMMFAO. Its really sad b/c she is a big gurl too. I mean just b/c a dude finds me attractive doesnt mean I have to talk to him or fall over trying to get to him. Like I should be glad he wants me. WTF. Slowness. Anyway the dude came over. Seemed nice. Exchanged Numbers and that was it. Then she tells me. You so uppity. Please ppl tell me if I was wrong. I mean if its really that important and you want to talk to me because You are attracted to me shouldnt you make the effort and vice versa. Am I wrong. I mean he didnt seem to have a problem with it. Whateva. My sister says I'm way to tolerant of this friend and perhaps I should kick her to the curb. I'm just not like that. I try to see the good in ppl when the shit aint there. ~Smooches~
I am a native houstonian and most of the victims of Katrina are coming here to live until things are back to normal in LA. Its so sad seeing these ppl bused in with nothing but the clothes on there back. I was listening to the radio and Shelia Jackson Lee was talking about how we all need to help, mostly the black community b/c these are mostly our ppl. SHe also said that these victims will ot be here just for a month. The clean up is going to tak MONTHS maybe the rest of the year. Big up to Houston b/c we are stepping up and helping out. I encourage everyone too. I mean all the kids that are here have nothing and they have to go to school here for the next few months. Theses ppl have no where to stay. They are currently thousands in our Astrodome. I can only pray for the ppl that are still there stuck or didint make it through. The worst thing is hearing BUsh sorry ass on tv talking sbout how gas prices could rise again b/c of this and how he is doing all in his power to keep it from happening. Yea fucking right U know whats about to happen right. All this miltary ppl going to New orleans have the same rights as police oficers. People are about to die. Gas is about to rise. Things are about to change. NOw bush is allowing foriegn ships to bring gas to America. OMG r u that stupid. It is the perfect time to attck us. WE are wounded and now he's just gonna let them in. Pray ppl. PEACE ~Smooches~
So last night my fuck buddy called. Which will now be refered to as my ex-fuck buddy. So he calls and is talking kinda strange. He has never in is fucking pathetic like talked to me in this manner b/c he knows better. I think I have been faking it a little too well and he think he has it like this. When the truth is He has never brought me to orgasim with his mandingo. Which is sad b/c you would think with all that he would know how to work it. Dont get me wrong. It feels great but he has not taking me there and never will now. But I do a good job at faking it. So he calls like he da man. Talkin about when can I get some more of that ass. Like i'm some common hoe off the street. Ummm no. So at first I'm shocked so and the music is really loud in the background so I think he is joking. SO i'm like haha when you want some. Our relationship is stricly sex, so him bringing it up wasnt unusual. Then he didnt hear me and he said it again multiple times. This is when I realized I'm on speakerphone. SO he's like I dunno when I want it I just want to know I can Get it. I'm like WTF this nigga is trying to front in front of someone. So he was like can I tap that. I was like whateva I'll think about it. Odviously the convo was not going the way he wanted so he goes ok that all I wanted to know. I will call u back. The funny thing is since the last time it happen I had decided to completely cut him off for many reasons. So I had deleted his number. So this puts the fucking icing on the cake. Thats all for now ~smooches~ 
SO yesterday I went to see my Friend K. She is this white chick I use to work with. Now the white chicks flocked to be my friend at my last job b/c most of them dated black men. My sister happens to be married to a white man and My niece (cutest child ever) is mixed. This I assume put a huge "She's an Ok black girl" tag on me. I have never been the hater type. I dont get upset when I see black men with white women. Do you. So anyway, she was cool ao we kept in touch when we both left the job. Now K has potiental to do better, but HER man Is TRIffling. Have some self respect and stand up for yourself. When we were working together she was taking care of her man. He had no job and didnt seem to be looking. This alone made me think she was a fool, but she had redeeming qualites. So I went to see her and she was all scraped up like she fell. First she tells me they were arguing and she slipped (lie of course). Later she tells me what really happen. Old dude has lost his mind b/c he finally got a job. He got mad at her b/c she spent $40 dollars of his money. (he gives his checks to her) So he left and didnt come back in HER car until the next day. So when he does come back of course she wanna argue and ask questions. So he pushed her ass down. Now you know by my last post what I would have done. Anyway this was not the first time he has done this. He leaves all night without calling. Now what you think he doing. The situation would have went a little different if it was me. He would have came home. I would have invited him in. Took my fucking keys and told him to go check by the dumpster b/c that is where I left his shit. And if there is a problem then HPD (houston police department) will be on speed dial. I dont have time for the Oh imma do betta routine. So I pretty much tell her she is a fool and she need to kick his ass to the curb. Mostly b/c she use to support his ass. She dont buy shit. I mean she spent the money on gas. cigs. and food. WTF. He needs all on those things as well. Of course I got the usual quietness after I spit my opinion. Everyone that knows me knows I do not hold my tounge when It comes to my friends when they need a reality check. I told her long ago to leave this dude. He is not the one. But no. This is what erks me about the whole mixed realtionships. Now i'm not saying all black women, but most would not put up with that shit. Again I am not saying all but most men that date white women do so b/c they know we not gonna but up with BS such as this. And it really fucking bothers me to here white women say. "yall mad b/c we took yo man" Hold da fuck up. Have u ever considered we aint wont his ass. So you taking another triffling brother away is not really a loss. I really dont mind the whole thing. I love my niece to death, but I think its a respect thing on both sides of the fence. White and Black women can not respect the fact that someone found love with the opposite race. I guess the white women pissed b/c there white men have been forcing themselves on us since we got here and black women are pissed for the same reason. Why be with a white man after all our history. Whateva. Do you and be happy. Its amazing how many stares my sister's family get when they go out. Its like ppl should really be over this shit already its pretty common now. Ppl roll their eyes, say rude things, whisper shit. Its sad. Grow up ppl. Thats all folks. Oh the little person with my shades on at the top is my niece. The look better on me lol ~smooches~ 
How rude of my job to make me do work today lol. I had a great weekend. I spent way too much money but it was fun. I talk to Justin. He is the only guy that I can tolerated and have a REAL convo with. WE have been friends for about 5 or so years now. He would be my man if he wasnt on this I want to be single kick. One day maybe, but if not that still cool . He is a really good person to talk to. He always have me laughing with his stories. I went to boring ass Sherlocks (a pub in houston) on Saturday. It really sucked, mostly b/c it was a goodbye party for someone who couldnt get in b/c he left his license. Then is was raining like crazy. I got my hair wet, well not my hair and that why I was prolly(really annoying). My wig is too cute to be damaged by rain lol. I was talking to my sister about my dad. I realized that I really dont know the man that well. I 've heard horrible stories about him since I was like 8. I mean I've met himand know where he at and shit, but I dont know him. Prolly b/c I dont want to. All he ever did for me was tell me lies. He beat the shit outta my mom. No one has ever really went into details so I dont know the whole storey. I dont know if I ever will. I just think there is something everyone is not telling me. I cant imagine it getting any worse then what I have already heard. The more I think about it the more I commend my mother. She went through that shit with both me and my sister's father. I cant imagine that it was like. I pray I will never experiences b/c I will be under the jail. I wish a MF would hit me. The only outcome is death for him. Anyways I have never been a big Tupac fan, but I saw the whole documentary this weekend. Powerful man. I am so sure the goverment killed him. He was talking about standing up and taking action in out black communities. Now you know they cant have that. If black ppl start coming together. They wont know what to do. We have so much potential, that we are wasting. Its sad b/c If he were here now I think the world would be a little different. I like this quote I heard in the movie, something like "I may not change the world, but I will spark the mind that will." I saw this chick I went to high school with. She was like OMG u look so differnt. I dont think I do tho. I know my self esteem has changed and now maybe I carry myself accordingly. WEll thats all Folks ~Smooches~
I'm going through the motions
But I'm not really here
I want to say some shit
But Do I really care
I'm Tired
Thats what I am
Why fight for something
That doesn't want to be here
Playing these head games
Its a damn shame
You can't man up
You know STand up
Tell me how you really feel
YOur lies was not part of our deal
How hard is it
To just let go
To let me move on
But no
You lead me on
Feed me lies
To keep me warm
When all I want is the Honest you
Truth will suffice
We aint gotta fuss and fight
If you dont want me
Then dont talk to me
THis shit is elementry
What I have to go through with you
To tell the fucking truth
Its cool
I'm through
I havent written in awhile. I think this one sucks but it will grow on me. I'm fed up as u can tell. I'm almost at the point where I dont trust anyone. I'm so tired of playing the high school ass games. When will people learn u cant have ur cake and it it too. I'm not gonna sit around and wait for you to be a man. Fuck that. Like I said I f you dont want me then dont talk to me. I think people in general think fat chicks gotta settle just b/c they the fat chick. ~News Flash Fukkas~ I aint gotta settle for shit. I'm too cute for all this drama. I'm not gonna cry or stalk ur ass. I'm gonna move the fuck on. Its funny but everyone who ever dogged me has come to regret it. Everyone who wanted to see me cry or lose the confidence I have has failled. YOU CANT SHAKE ME. I love me. Its that so hard for ppl to believe. Have u seen the pic lol. J/k i'm not that bad. AnywayZ I went out with a few friends last night. I got to get my laugh on which felt good. Smoked and had a few drinks. Yes i'm a smoka and I dont me Cigs lol. I miss my friends which is funny b/c they are always a call away. I feel like there is not point in calling no more. Same shit different day and my phones do accept incoming calls. I never understand ppl that be like "you cant call nobody" but hey never call u either. I need to meet some new ppl. Learn some new POV. SO if anyone is in Houston hit me up lol. Oh I need a name for the poem any suggestions ~Smooches~ 
I'm all better noe lol. My leg is almost back to normal after a day off work lol. Nothing much going on except the usual. Oh I think I am addicted. I bought another one. Its cute and yes I am still turning heads lol. I'm swearing off sex for awhile (no not b/c of the leg) b/c the whole fuck buddy thing has never been my style. The more I do it(which isnt that often but its still good) the more I dont like the situation. I dont really trust the person I'm doing it with either. Sec is overrated most of the time and I always have myself. No one knows u like u know urself. So I am on break from sex. I have a full weekend planned and I cant wait until this week is over. Later ppl. ~Smooches~ 
First I'm REAL upset blogger lost my post the 1st time I posted. The second time telling is never as good. Anyway I had a great weekend mostly. Friday I FINALLY got some. WE took out time and did it right and at the end we were both tired as hell, but my body seemed to be dealing with this release a tab bit different then usual. So I go to get up when I have fiannly caught my breath and I damn near hit the floor. MY leg seems to be not working properly. My first thought is hmmm I must have laid on it wrong. SO, As i'm going down the stairs I am most fall b/c My legs gives out again. Its weird and funny at the same time. I mean I have heard of ppl walking funny after sex and with what he working with its possible, but it has never happened b4. So I go home and sleep. Wake up and my leg is still hurting but worse. Oh WEll I got shit. I spend 4 hours at the sprint store listening to why they could not give me a new phone and how I must wait 3-5 days. HEll to the NAW. So they direct me to another sprint store. Now I have wasted my entire morning standing with my hurt leg fucking with ppl at the sprint store. At the next store I was not so nice and Had to get Ignit(ignorant). Low and behold there is a phone for me in the back that appeared out of thin air. I am very annoyed. Later that day I tell my sister how I think I hurt my leg...later follows for about 15 minutes. I still dont think its that serious. SO we go home and she tells her husband...laughter follow. My leg hurts but not enought to make me ruin my weekend. So later that day me and my sister also decided to buy wigs to give us a change. I find one as u can c and I buy it. Guess what? MEN LOVE ME IN SOME LONG ASS FAKE WEAVE. They were like a swarm of fucking bees. I'm like could u pls give me 50 feet u r in my bubble. I got out later that night and shake my ass with my new do. Again they were like bees. My leg hurts more of course from the dancing but I had a good time. Sunday I decided to look up my symptoms on Web MD. I have a pullled hamstring from fucking. I am never gonna live this down and EVERYONE got jokes. At least everyone I told my leg hurt b4 I knew it was a pulled hamstring. So this weekend was interesting to say the least. Check out the wig...let me know what u think ~smooches~
I feel stuck. Stuck in a fucking routine. I go to work. I come Home. I watch TV/SMoke. Then I got To sleep. Same shit different day. I'm learning nothing new and it is annoying the fuck out of me. I feel stupid (which I know I'm not). How do ppl do this. THe same thing day in and day out. It feels like a waste of time. My job is boring as shit. I dont do anything. Everyone is like u got the best job ever. I on the other hand think it sucks. I mean I love getting paid to do nothing, but I would love to have something to do. I fear when I finally do I will be like WTF is this. I have a huge problem going out alone. If there is no one to come with me I usually just dont do it except for shopping I can do that shit with my eyes close. BORING is what my life has turned into. I'm kinda tired of the club seen. Is this what happens when u grow up. U become boring as hell and do nothing. I wanna be a kid again then. I feel like I'm watching my life happen b/c its too boring for me to be apart of. I keep thinking of all the things I use to do and why I dont do then now and I just dont know. I seem to think that everyone is on a different page or not on my level. THat could be true or maybe we are and I dont want to acknowledge that. I dont wanna be stuck doing this for the rest of my life. All the things I really wanted to do seem to have slipped away or I forgot. I think my life got so annoying after I left my apartment and started this job. Nothing seems the same anymore. I also think everyone has turned into fucking idiots. I mean i'm surrounded by them all day at work. THey ask me stupid ass questions. Oh and when did the DMV start handing out licenses to every dumb ass in town. I swear one day rode rage is gonna get the best of me. I feel ppl get on the road just to annoy me. Why the fuck would u in front of me going 40 when i'm going 70. Why would you get in the fast lane going 45. Why do ppl brake when there is NO ONE in front of them. I mean this crap annoys me to know end. Oh and why is dumb ppl think they know everything. HOw is it possible for you to talk complete nonsense and not know it and on top of it all you wont let anyone get a word in b.c u think u r right. NEWS FLASH YOU ARE WRONG BISH. UGHHHHHHHH. Stupidity is the worst. AWww I feel better now. ~Smooches~
I have been looking for a new template for the last 2 days at work since I have nothing to do. I am still looking, but I like this for now. Nothing much has been going on. I hope I will be getting some today(reason for the happy subject lol). My sister's sister is truely annoying. HOw the hell do u invite urself to someones house. I have never heard anyone do this until the other day. She kept hinting around and my sister never gave and so then she finally said we are close by we gonna stop by. WTF? I was so shocked. I really didnt know people do this. Why would u want to be somewhere u r not wanted. I hope she reads this too. That is CRAZY. I was looking around the net today for some black big girl art and came across some really nice artist. Check it Out
~Smooches~ 
I have been thinking about a few things, like how i censor my blog b/c of who may read it. Then I discovered I dont give a flying fuck who sees my blog or who doesnt like it. I am me and I should be able to say whateva the hell I want. So let me just say what has been annoying me with everyone lately. I hate when ppl call you when they are on the way somewhere to ask you if you want to go. I use to do this to ppl and I never knew how annoying it was until it happen to me. I hate people that are sensative about what you say to them, but they can say or do anything to you and expect for everything to be ok. WTF? If you can dish it you sure as hell can take it. I hate not wanting to do something, but feeling obligated or I hate not wanting to do something that you know you should b/c that person has done so much for you. It makes me feel so bad. I hate when you finally come to a realization that all ur friends will not be your friends forever. I hate knowing that I am growing apart from ppl that have been my friends for soooooooo long. I hate loving someone who doesnt love you back. I hate having sex and not getting anything from it. I mean damn what a waste of fucking time. I hate repeating myself. I hate my annoying ass boss's GF who is always and forever at our fucking place of work annoying the shit outta me. I hate being bored. I hate being in Houston (its so freaking boring). I hate couples b.c i'm single right now. I hate skinny bitches who dont think I can get there aman. But for some reason they dont seem to see him checking me out on the low. I hate ppl who try to use you (for the record I am not that fool). I hate ppl who lie for no reason. Hmmm. I see somewhere this turned into the I hate blog. Ok so. I love my family. I love oreos lol. I love learing new things. I love having a good time. I love meeting new ppl. I love spoken word poetry. I love ME. OMG I forgot to tell that I saw that Super Size movie. It freaked me out so I decided to stop eating fast food. I lost 4 freaking pounds. THat is soooooooo cool b/c I wasnt even trying. I recommend everyone try it. Not for the losing wait factor, but b.c you feel so much better. I'm a sexy bitch regardless tho lol. Ok thats enough for now. I have really been ranting. OH by the way the face pic above is old and when I had my eyebrow peirced ~Smooches~
So...another boring weekend under my belt. I just want to say how much EVE (as in adam and eve) sucks ass. Finally me and my fuck buddy can get together and b/c of this trick I cant get none. I cant wait to meet that heffa. Imma have a few choice words. I pretty much chilled all weekend. My friends seems as if they are drifting apart or just out growing each other. We are all growing up and clubbing every night doesnt seem that fun anymore. I'm so bored with Houston I dont know what to do. Well actually I do. I'm applying to a few colleges out of state. I've decided if i dont leave now I never will. I keep asking myself, "why are you here?" I never wanted to stay in Houston for the rest of my life. I wanna see the world. My sister has so many stories of the trips she has taken and places she has lived. I gotta go. I think I've been making excuse not to move on and grow up. Its been time. Its odd tho, b.c I dont plan on telling anyone one that I am applying (unless they read this blog) and even if they do I still dont want to talk about it. I just want to do. Show my family that I can be more productive then I have. If I could leave right now I think I would. I need to be free, alone, INDEPENDENT of all things that I know so well. WEll thats all I got for now. I'll post pics with this tomorrow at work. Why waste my free time when I can get paid to do it lol. ~Smooches~
SO... I Havent had any good sex in like 2 months. I use to have this really good fuck buddy. Someone who finally knew how to hit it right. Our schedules conflict all the freaking time so technically we really are not Fuck buddies anymore. I mean giving urself an O gets really old after a while and I have reached my limit. I am such a sexual prude tho. I don't have alot of sexual partners by choice. But through reading the other sexy fat chicks blog, I feel it is time to get mine. I dont get as nearly as much sex as I would like. THere is a freak waiting to unleash on some lucky guy. SO my new mission is to get laid of the regular. I just want an O. The only difference is I cant bring myself to do all these one night stands. Its just really odd to me. Although I have had one when I was younger. It was actually one of the best sexual experiences I ever had. Hmmm I dunno. All I do know is I need to get some b4 the week is over or everyone is gonna start to hate the Bitch I turn into. ~Smooches~ 
I really have turned into by far the most boring person I know. This weekend I did mostly nothing. I cleaned. On Sunday I went To Chances. My friend Bobby and Colleen did Karoke. I hate making an ass of myself so I passed. I had fun, it was good to get out. I bought an outfit to die for lol. Its green bug looking shades with shirt to match and of course tons of accessories (pic to follow). I have decided that perhaps its not the best idea to move right now. I feel like a loser b/c I haven't been to school in a year. I got an email from a best friend in High School that said she is on her Senior year. That hit me hard. It put in perspective how much time I've wasted. I mean I Am a sophomore at least but I am far behind, but I just don't know what I want to do. I thought I wanted to be a pediatric nurse, But I'm not sure if I'm cut out for it. I wanna go away to school before its too late. I keep looking at the here and now instead of the future. Like I have a really good job now, but in the future will I regret not pursuing a career I would be more happy in. I love kids and helping them would truely make me happy. I want to make my family and friends proud, but I feel like I'm seriously lacking right now. Everytime I say to myself things are almost perfect with me. I see this huge thing i'm really not happy with. I'm so bored with what I'm doing. I'm not happy inless I'm learning something new. At this point I'm not. I gotta get back in school and feel productive again or I'm going to continue to feel this way. My priorities are all out of wack. My spending habits are horrible, but I cant seem to get on track no matter how much I tell myself would I should be doing. Anyway. Mo'niqu's Fat Chance really sucked ass. All the fat girls on there were beautiful, but their self esteem seem to suck inside. I love me...we all have are bad days when we think we look horrible. I mean I understand how much being FAT can hurt. I've cried and had low self esteem. I think it showed America that, yes all the taunting does really hurt us and everyday we go home and cry. I dont. I use to. I decided if I didn't love me no one would. Its the self confidence that comes out that makes ppl a do double take. Skinny bitches hate to see a confident fat girl. Trust me I know. On the other hand Fat girls have no problem with congradulating the next chick, b.c it took us forever to get out of that horrible web of ugliness that America puts around us. Ok I was really ranting. Sowwy lol. In other news, I have came to the conclusion not only do men suck ass so do women. It is impossible to find a person that is honest with you and themselves on everything. People stop living in denial, its not just a river in Africa. This has to be my longest post so far. I guess I had a lot to get out. I really want to speak on the shadiness of my best friend friend's, but I know he will eventually read this and I don't really wanna talk about it. Lets just say it was shady, but I'm over it. Ok it's time to start acting like I'm working. I'm sure I will Have another post today. I bought 2 magz. ~Smooches~ 
So I said I would post some of my poetry. Enjoy ~Smooches~
Wanting
By: ME
I want you
To want me
So deeply that
When i`m not with you
It`s hard to breath
Because I am the air you need
I want me
To want you
So deeply
What when I bleed Its your blood type
Because you sustain me
I want you
You want Me
That`s all me need
Two consenting adults
With open minds and open hearts
Feighning for each other
Trust and believe I`m ready to play part
To be the strong women
To guide ya heart
In my heart you can let your fears hide
Our minds are Intellectually intwinded
So when I say i`m feeling you
You know i`m Not lying
Compatable in everyway
But different a night and day
Allowing each other to be independent
Yet dependent
On all the beautiful things we bring out in each other
I can`t picture myself with another lover
Your touch calms me
In your arms I feel safe from harm
And my heart is warmed by the words you testify about me
Kiss Me
It`s hard to think about
Without getting caught up in another fantasy
About you and me
And that thing you do with your tounge
Has me completely undone
And this is only foreplay
What will happen when I lay in bed
With person who has be headsprung
and Me mesmorized by their eyes
As they eat my fears away
And dries my tears with kisses
As My hips are gripped
I realease my fears on to your lips
And we are one
In this moment of bliss
So, my friend Bobby started a blog and I've been wanting to for a while. I keep a personal journal so its not that different. Anyway, I liked his so I decided to start my own. Mine is the Chronicle of The Sexy Fat Chick for self explanatory reasons. Unfortunately for most of you this blog may be a tad bit boring. I have went from wild party girl to boring working 9-5 girl, but I am trying to break free. My life is usually pretty interesting. SO just to let you know a little about me. I'm a bit of an Amazon lol. 5*11 full figured bomb shell is more like it. No i'm not conceded, I'm just confident. I am so happy today b/c I got my replacement phone. I dropped the old one in a pool while at the the bar which was also in the pool. I was a little tipsy I suppose. I'm kinda excited b/c i have a date of Friday, but the guy is already annoying me. I annoy pretty easily, but he is doing it on purpose. I'm also kinda bitchy b/c my fuck buddy is being stingy with the goodies. He is always so freaking busy and our schedules dont work well together, so i'm like whats the point. Work is boring as hell as usual, b/c I dont do shit. Which I guess is a upside, but I Hate being non-productive (if thats a word). I'm sure I would be a lot happier if I was in school learning something new, but unfortunately i'm not. I'm excited for my sissy, but I cant tell you why just yet lol. Well, thats all for now. Think I may drop some new Poerty I just wrote. I love spoken word, so if you do to feel free to hit me up. Until then ~Smooches~
