Yeah Yeah I know I Have been MIA for a long minute. Life is getting the best of me at the moment. Its like if nothing is going good in my life i I really have no desire to write about it. Right now my life is not too great. Its hard to go from the baddest FAT bitch to the brokest. Am I making it? Yes. But i'm struggling and I haven't had to struggle in a while. It is so hard to stay positive. I know that eventually things will get better but its hard to see the sun when all these storms are in my way. I filed on my last employer and am awaiting the mediation, which i hope comes soon. I am so ready to get this over with. Sometimes I think was the stress my last job had as bad is the stress I have now. Was it really worth it? Hell Yes. True its hard, but by no mean should I have had to deal with all the shit that happen at that office. I miss the money, but thats about it. I mean don't get me wrong I grew up poor. I know the value of a dollar and how my life could be right now. Its really not that bad,but once u get use to shoppin every week it is a huge change. I guess I miss the life I was building for myself and I'm pissed b/c the ignorance of a few ppl I lost it all. Not because I was not doing a great job, but b/c the color of my skin. It makes me so mad just thinking about it.
Then with the whole job hunting saga and bills piling up my sister leaves the country and she take the only 2 poeple that can make me smile no matter how bad i feel. She took my neices. Her entire family moved to Panama. When she was here we argued a lot, but what sisters don't especially when u live with them. Now that she is gone I realized how much I needed her. I don't even mean money or all the cool shit we did together. I mean just her. I miss someone who listens. I have realized none of my friends truely listen. When people tell me their problems I seriously think about it and try to help them. I don't feel like I get that in return except from her. She always listen and tells me really good advice even if she knows thats not what I want to hear. I miss that. Its so true you never know what you have until its gone. I definately feel it now.
And to keep with the tragic theme. This is the FIRST holiday I will be completely alone. My Mom is going to visit my sister in P-Ma and I am left to fend for myself in Houston. Its really not that bad b/c I can go to errbody house and get a plate without feeling greedy lol. I'll propbably spend it with one of my friends family that can really throw down in the kitchen.
Sidebar--- This is going to be a real shocker. Yesterday I met not one but 3 people from the New Orleans that was not ghetto and their accent was actually cute. I was taken a back b/c they talked like they had some sense.
Why is it when people get a little money, they completely forget where they came from. This shit is annoying. Its like uh Excuse I knew the broke you ur not that fly. I dunno I'm not one to hate, but when it becomes pretty odvious that someone is trying to make you jealous that shit gets on my nerves. I am happy for your sucess or lack there of but You don't need to try to rub it in my face. Oh and by the way I've been there and done that on my OWN, so get ya mind right. Money is the root of all evil 4real.
Also what is up with this Thug Mentality. I am noticing more and more young adults 18-23 are so into all this BS. Like selling drugs and robbin people. Its like they seriously think this is a great career move and they will never get caught b.c they are way to smart for that lmao. The funniest part is this is coing from a high school drop out. Every major criminal I have ever know has gotten caught. Its like inevitable. Why would you do it. It amazes me how they try to convince me of how they could do it and get away with it.
JIM JONES LOOKS DIRTY. Although him doing the Ballin song at the awards with Jay Z there was pretty funny.
Is it just me or is there something off with the Faces of the girls in the group CHERISH. They all look a bit odd to me in a alien kinda way.
Anywho enough off my tragic story. If anyone still comes here please keep me lifted in prayer. In the mean time I'm gonna stay POSITIVE ~SMOOCHES~
