My Weekend

I really have turned into by far the most boring person I know. This weekend I did mostly nothing. I cleaned. On Sunday I went To Chances. My friend Bobby and Colleen did Karoke. I hate making an ass of myself so I passed. I had fun, it was good to get out. I bought an outfit to die for lol. Its green bug looking shades with shirt to match and of course tons of accessories (pic to follow). I have decided that perhaps its not the best idea to move right now. I feel like a loser b/c I haven't been to school in a year. I got an email from a best friend in High School that said she is on her Senior year. That hit me hard. It put in perspective how much time I've wasted. I mean I Am a sophomore at least but I am far behind, but I just don't know what I want to do. I thought I wanted to be a pediatric nurse, But I'm not sure if I'm cut out for it. I wanna go away to school before its too late. I keep looking at the here and now instead of the future. Like I have a really good job now, but in the future will I regret not pursuing a career I would be more happy in. I love kids and helping them would truely make me happy. I want to make my family and friends proud, but I feel like I'm seriously lacking right now. Everytime I say to myself things are almost perfect with me. I see this huge thing i'm really not happy with. I'm so bored with what I'm doing. I'm not happy inless I'm learning something new. At this point I'm not. I gotta get back in school and feel productive again or I'm going to continue to feel this way. My priorities are all out of wack. My spending habits are horrible, but I cant seem to get on track no matter how much I tell myself would I should be doing. Anyway. Mo'niqu's Fat Chance really sucked ass. All the fat girls on there were beautiful, but their self esteem seem to suck inside. I love me...we all have are bad days when we think we look horrible. I mean I understand how much being FAT can hurt. I've cried and had low self esteem. I think it showed America that, yes all the taunting does really hurt us and everyday we go home and cry. I dont. I use to. I decided if I didn't love me no one would. Its the self confidence that comes out that makes ppl a do double take. Skinny bitches hate to see a confident fat girl. Trust me I know. On the other hand Fat girls have no problem with congradulating the next chick, b.c it took us forever to get out of that horrible web of ugliness that America puts around us. Ok I was really ranting. Sowwy lol. In other news, I have came to the conclusion not only do men suck ass so do women. It is impossible to find a person that is honest with you and themselves on everything. People stop living in denial, its not just a river in Africa. This has to be my longest post so far. I guess I had a lot to get out. I really want to speak on the shadiness of my best friend friend's, but I know he will eventually read this and I don't really wanna talk about it. Lets just say it was shady, but I'm over it. Ok it's time to start acting like I'm working. I'm sure I will Have another post today. I bought 2 magz. ~Smooches~