IDIOTS OF THE WEEK

I've been wanting to start and idiot of the week blog. I encounter so many Idiots on a daily basis, be it driving, watching the news, or/and WORK. I'm going to test out the response here and see what happens. On with the point

THE IDIOTS OF THE WEEK ARE

THESE BITCHES I WORK WITH

Lets call this person Amy. Oh and I pray am reads this just to let her know she is not fooling nobody, but herself. So, this new chick joins our company after they make this place so undesirable the other lady quits. I mean that was the new boss's(lets call her OGM for Old Googley Moogley) plan all along. She wanted to get this poor (although quite stupid, but so is she) Lady outta her so she could hire her friend. Before this lady quit she hips me to the game my new overtly friendly boss was up to. OGM likes to smile in your face and talk shit behind your back to the VP. The sad part is all she does is talk shit about the VP. I bet she doesn't mention that when she is in there kissing his ass. Anyway, the OGM slipped up by talking shit about the chick that quit to a lady that works at company we use. Unknown to her (and still is) the lady she was talking shit to was, the lady that quit, really good friend. So the whole time she was talking shit to her,the women went back at told the other lady. Just a little side info of how stupid and sneaky these ppl are. The funniest part is I knew this shit was happening all along and I could have very well told OGM or the other annoy bitch that quit, but I had a feeling they both were fraud and It was entertaining (yes I know I am EVIL MAHAHAHAHA). So back to Amy the Idiot. Amy comes to work for us. Things get better and she is doing an ok job besides asking me a million fucking questions all day. This I don't mind much b/c everyone has to learn new shit at some point and I was in her position a few months ago, learning our system. The problem is she is just too clueless about normal shit ppl should know. As a matter of fact most of her questions where computer questions in general. Like she was sending emails to our customers in all CAPS. I told her in computer speak that is yelling and it looks lazy and unprofessional. She replies with " Oh, I didn't know that." Great, now you know and you should stop. Tell me why this heffa is stills ending emails the same way. Some Idiots never learn. She also has this habit of calling me when she doesn't know how to spell a word like "Office," I kid you not. She asked me how to spell that. Now every time I advise her all the computers in the office have spell check and the internet. I'm assuming she doesn't understand what that means b/c the bitch keeps calling me. So like 2-3 weeks after she is with us, I come into the office and she starts telling me how she needs to train me for when she is gone. I'm like "Where are you going?" She proceeds to tell me this long ass story about how she JUST found out she was 6 month pregnant. Now I know its possible for you not to know you are pregnant, so at first I believed her. Let me stop lying I knew the bitch was lying from the beginning. They knew (her and OGM) if she didn't get in right then they were going to find someone else to hire. SO, they let her FAT ASS come here knowing she was pregnant all along. Then this heffa has the nerve to say "I don't look pregnant do I?" I say NO, but I'm thinking hell fuck yeah you do, I just thought you were extra fat and did not want to be rude. So, now all of a sudden after this bitch has been looking fat this whole time, no she looks pregnant, which leads me to believe she was trying to hide the shit. Then she comes back the next week w/ this whole "The doctor says I can't lift anything heavy." This I am also aware of and I understand why, but BITCH I AM NOT YOUR NEW BELL BOY/SLAVE. Ever since they told her this shit, I am the designated pick shit up BITCH. The other day this bitch ask me to carry 8 folders that were not full from my desk to her's. Let me say she is skating on thin ice and will soon get her ass cussed out. So, then a few days later she says "Yall (yeah we in TX), I went to the doctor yesterday and guess how much I weigh. 210 pounds (by the way she is like 5*6). Do you know how much I weigh when I'm not pregnant? 156 pounds." Then I think to myself, BITCH how is it you didn't know you were pregnant or at least concerned by a 50 pound weight gain in 6 month. The bitch is Lying and no one can convince me otherwise. As a matter of fact ERRBODY up there is a fucking Idiot for believing this lame ass story.

Now, to the next idiot my new boss lets call her Old Googly Moogly( OGM ) b/c that's what that heffa looks like. She is like 40 and looks 60. This heffa goes on and on about how all the men she has ever been with were drop dead Sexy. Later she tells the story of her last Sexy man who house sat for her and when she came back all her jewelry and anything else that could be transported easily was gone. So pretty much her fine men use her for her money,then kick her to the curb. This is the same boss that likes to talk shit. Both of these bitches are messy and I am so sure they talk shit about me. Unknown to my stupid new boss, I know how trifflin she is. She tries to get me to tell her shit about my life. BITCH, do you think I am an idiot. I do not need you in my Kool-aid like that. The other day , I taught her how to select more than one file to copy and paste. How they Fuck do you not know how to do this. You Freaking IDIOT.

Then Last and Certainly not least is my Big Boss/ VP (I've written about him before). How the hell he has landed this job is a miracle in itself. Don't get me wrong I've said b4 these ppl know a lot about the business, but everyone knows shit b/c obsolete and that what's going to happen to them. All they know is how the business works, they don't know shit else. For instance, right now all 3 of them (OGM, AMY and VP) are in his office trying to help him write a letter to all our customers who haven't been using us lately. This is how the letter starts "Sometimes in life we lose friends and sometimes in life we lose business friends." LMAO that shit sounds retarded and its probably why they don't use our company anymore. Every time this dude sends out an email he has spelling errors. The worst part is his Outlook is set up to spell check before he sends an email. This mean the shit is so misspelled Spell check doesn't even know what they hell he is talking about. The fact that they allow him to write letters to customers amazes me. I remember when I first started he had me retype a annoucement of our new manager coming on board. He told me not to change anything, but after reading it I couldn't do it. I changed like half of it and gave it back. He had to know I fixed the shit, but he didn't say anything. He is also like the most computer illiterate man I know. Today he showed me how you can listen to music free on Yahoo Messenger. The sad part is its not like a fucking secret, everyone has the Yahoo radio shit at the bottom. He thought he found some shit like the fountain of youth or something. I could go on for days, instead I will just stamp IDIOT on his forehead and move on.

Enough ranting about these idiots. I'm sure I'll find more idiots next week and will report their Idiot antics for your amusement and pleasure. ~Smooches~

HOODRATS MUST BE DESTROYED

This blog entree is dedicated to all the HOODRATS. Please get yall Shit Together

So I was hangin with a friend who I don't hang with that much anymore last weekend. He introduced me to this chick lets call her CiCi, she is the epitome of Ghetto Trash( HoodRat). Let's start with the fact the bitch has been collecting what she tells them is disability. I, on the other hand, think its Welfare. Let me just say she don't look disabled to me. So, she doesn't work and she has 2 BEAUTIFUL kids ( 7 months and the other is like 4 or 5). I walk into her house and I am taken a back. I instantly conclude it is not safe to touch anything and antibacterial sanitation will be need upon leaving. This bitch's house is FUCKING FILTHY. I mean I know people with kids have a hard time keeping their shit clean but this bitch must have for got she does not have a maid and it is her job to clean the shit up. The floor looked like it has not been swept in months. There is a faint odor of something not being right. As I walk pass the kitchen I figure out it must be the dirty dish water someone has left in the sink. Or it could be the several dirty dishes I see scattered across the house with food caked on that looks like it has been there for months. My friend tells me that another dude asked her why her house was so dirty and her excuse was and I fucking quote "Oh I just made groceries." WTF does that have to do with you cleaning this filthy ass house.

Our purpose for going there was to pick up an X for my friend. Well, come to out she is getting rid of her kids and cannot wait to get on it herself. So, we sit there for awhile and then her friend BOOKIE comes. I kid you not there is a GROWN ASS MAN name Bookie walking around a hood in Houston. He is originally from, come on I know you all can guess. HE is from the MUTHERFUCKING N.O. better know as New Orleans. *SIGH* Well, Bookie must think he is the MAN although he is one ugly, tired, broke looking mofo. Bookie only thinks this b/c CiCi is fucking him. That's all great and shit, but Bookie lives with his baby mama. CiCi is very aware and does not give a shit. Apparently neither does the BM b/c she is aware as well. As a matter of fact the dumb heffa has seen Bookie go into CiCi's house then come and knock on the door only to have CiCi say he is not there and she that doesn't know what the chick is talking about. I assume the girl believes her and walks away. Either way she know what's up and she doesn't care. So we leave her and end up going out and standing her up b/c she was suppose to go, but she was taking to long to get rid of her kids. My friends don't have children so we really can't relate so she got left. Anyway one of my friends was feeling bad b/c she was on X and called us crying and shit so after we left the club, we went back to her house. We walk in and she is in her bedroom. We go in there and her and Bookie are in bed naked. Now if I'm chilling with a dude naked I'm going to let it be known before 3 people come into my bedroom. So, we walk in and she acts like its gravy. Telling us to sit down and shit ( on the dirty ass floor).
So we chillin there for a minute and I have to pee. Yes, I am afraid of what I will find in her bathroom, do to the look of the rest of the house. I have no intention of putting my ass on the seat anyway. So, I ask her could I use her bathroom. Her response is
" Oh the toilet is stopped up. Just go pee in the shower I just did it." My mind has a hard time of wrapping itself around what she just said so I do the odviously.

I ask " What did you say?" She replies "Girl, just pee in the shower." I must have looked at her like she lost her mind. I think to myself I cannot piss in someone shower. It is completely different to piss while taking a shower and just pissing in it. Then my mind goes to the part here she says she just did it. I do not recall hearing an water to wash out her shower when she was done or to wash her hand for that matter. The more I think about it the more grossed out I get. I turn to my friend beside me and say "I need to go outside and find a bush." CiCi asked me "Why do you need to find a bush." I reply "So, I can pee." She says it again "Girl just go pee in the shower." I look as her as if she has lost her mind again. I mean this is where her children bathe and so does she I hope. I can't imagine allowing a complete stranger, fuck that, I can't imagine allowing myself to do that shit. So, I sit there and ponder this girl's mental stablity, while I try to hold my pee. SO Finally I say can I pee in the toilet and not flush. She was like "Yeah, since you don't want to pee in the shower." So, I go into her bathroom and shut the door. I stop, try to keep the throw up down. As I look around I see a brown sink with diffrent products around it. On he floor is the clothes she had on earlier with her dirt draws attached. Then I look at the shower, it then dawns on me why she doesn't mind me or herself pissing in there. The bathtub is BLACK. I kid you not when I say this. Not a ring round the tub either the entire bottom and about halfway up the sides is BLACK. I look down at the toilet and it is black as well and it is not from it being stopped it, This is caked on dirt and grime. I turn around open the door and walk back out. Shortly after I leave. Oh, but it does not end there. MY other friend stayed. He says after we left another dude CiCi is fucking name P short for Percy ( I only use this name b/c is sound gay lol) comes by with a gun in a strap around his chest. Bookie is walking out as P is walking end. Luckily no one was injured. The next day, for some reason one of my friends were over there again and i go over. This time I meet a new person when I go over there. Her name happens to be CiCi as well, so we will call her CeCe 2. So CeCe 2 to is on X too. Come to find out her and CiCi have been what we call rollin , which means on X all night and all that day. It is about 5 or 6 pm the day after. Her children have now been brought back to her. SO she and her friend are taking care (if that's what you want to call it) of 2 children high. I then begin to think what do these children eat out of if all the dishes are dirty. I was at the chicks house a couple of hours each time and I only saw her feed the baby once and I didn't see her clean out a bottle. I come to the conclusion she has been using the same dirt bottle. I only conclude this b/c when we get there that day she is feeding her again out of the same bottle from yesterday. TRIFFLING.
Anyway CeCe 2 starts talking to my friend who is a Gay man about how she think P is gay. I am tripping b/c I know P and CiCi fuck as well. The plot thickens. CiCi and CeCe 2 are both fucking P and they are friends. They not only fuck him separately, but together. P has supplied them with there X and he gets his money's worth odviously. So she tells us how P like to use toys in bed, but not on them. He has them use the toys on him. She also tells us of P and her going to gay bars and him disappearing with men into the bathroom and hitting on other men. SO pretty much this heffa knows he plays both ideas of the field, and is fucking her friend and doesn't give a shit. There whole arrangement is like a cocktail for a STD. About an hour later Bookie shows up. You would think this dude would stay clear after the whole gun incident, but I guess when Pussy calls you gotta go. So he comes over and is chilling in the living area with my friend and I while CiCi and CeCe 2 are in the bedroom (which is just as filthy as the rest of the house if I didn't mention that). He is limping and being the nosy Mofo I am I ask him why he is limping. He replies by unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. He pulls down his dingy underwear to reveal a bandage over his pubic area. He begins to explain he went to the hospital last night for a ingrown hair on this area and it really hurts. LMAO ingrown hair my ass, maybe Herpes or syphilis(?). Then a few minutes after telling me this he ask for my #. Now he may not know, that I know he has a baby mama at home, but he damn well knows I know he's fucking CiCi. My mom always says the company you keep will determine how ppl see you. I guess being even remotely associated with this BIRD had him slipping to think he was going to get my #. So, I decline twice and he gives up. He brought another N.O. friend along with him. SO, I started asking them what they do. They both reply not a DAMN THING. I begin to tell them of a place I know thst is hiring and they pay $21 a hour. Bookie stops me and asks me what the hell am I telling him that for. He has no intention of looking for a job, oh and why should he. I'm sure his baby mama either works or is getting FEMA or both and their rent and untilties are paid up for like a year. The truth is why would he work and I'm sure he didn't work before he came here either, so why start now. I guess me suggesting his broke down ass get a job was offensive, so he spit back the question do you have job. I reply YES YOU BROKE MOFO MOST PPL IN AMERICA DO AND IF THEY DON"T THEY ARE LOOKING. I meet my first male HOODRAT. Shortly after I leave.
The next day the same friends I was chilling with that weekend come and take me to lunch that Monday. They tell me they went back to CiCi's house that Sunday before. Now although they are Gay they are both interested in the female anatomy. Why on God's green earth they would think these chicks were the ones to play show and tell with I don't know. Anyway they went over there and CeCe 2 was under the dirty cover (the bed had no linen on it and a dirty blanket her and her men and her kids sleep on) with only a t-shirt on. Again they let them come in the bedroom. One of my friends was like let me see what you working with. He goes underneath the cover and pulls it back. He says he smells and odor, but is unsure of what it is and who or what is it coming from. As he begins to spread her legs open he sees what he describes as Cottage Cheese (hence my names for the both of them CiCI LMAO) between the lips. She quickly gets u and says she needs to take a shower. BITCH A. She knew she needed a shower before they walked in the door let alone opening up her nasty legs. B.She knew either her ass has just got done having sex or has a yeast infection and yet and still you allowed this dude to open your nasty legs and see that. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW GHETTO BIRD. Then my friend had the nerve to tell me CeCe 2 thought I was cute. I'm like WTF am I going to do with that info. I wouldn't allow that bitch to pour me a glass of water with gloves on let alone tough me. After seeing these women, if that's even the right thing to call them, I am so never get in the situation they find themselves so content in. Don't get me wrong they seemed, although not very intelligent, but cool people. I unfortunately am unable to grasp the point of their lives. They only thing CiCi has that is worth shit is her children and she can't even get that right. I fear for them and what she lets in her house. Her baby girl is so beautiful and some men see CiCi as an opportunity to not only get some of her ass but MAYBE take advantage of her children as well. I hope she wakes up and sees the light,but I doubt it. She seems comfortable in her filth right now. This story was kinda hard to tell, even though parts were funny, seeing her children made is different. If it was just her fucking up her life that would be fine with me. Her children don't have a choice. Her son is old enough to know whets going on and that will effect him. I'm praying for all you GHETTO BIRDS. GROW THE FUCK UP. I'm Out. ~Smooches~

P.S. Blogger u sux for not letting me post pics