Just Thinking

I just wanted to thank all the ppl that visit my site. Feed back on ya life is nice sometimes. I was thinking today of what I really want our of a mate. I dont fee like I'm that picky really. I recently met someone that is not really my usual type, but I'm attracted to the person. The personality seems nice and the person is intelligent (thats a must). I hate when ppl say they dont have a type. Everyone has a type. I mean if there is no physical attraction then whats the point. Why would I want to be with someone who doesnt find me sexy. I mean mutal attraction is a must. I was talking to someone the other day and they were saying how they had sexy with this chick and they couldnt get into it. There were no odvious reasons like odor or inexperience. They just really hated the sex. I told them it was b/c there was no attraction. I mean yes, u can have sex with someone u r not attracted to, but the orgasim is not the same. I know this from experience. They could be doing eveything right, but you are just not feeling the person. I personally dont want anyone that does not think I am the most beautiful person in the world and vice versa. ******I'm begining to think I push ppl away. I dont know if I just feel like the relationship is going to result in bs and end it to save myself the trouble or if Iam so afraid of letting anyone in I just push everyone away. I want to be in a happy committed realtionship. I HATE BEING SINGLE. I also refuse to settle for b/s when I know I can do better. I feel like I am the only person in the world who has not had an long term relationship. I guess things happen when were ready. ~smooches~

Stalkerish

Ok, so I wasn't going to write about this at first, but the person took it too far. So I've been talking to this person. The convo was ok, but I knew there was something strange. I always give ppl the benefit of the doubt b4 forming a opinion. SO as we gradely talk this person began to tell me they love me. I know I dont. I do not take those words litely. Then I notice they call me alot. I mean like 10 times a day or more. Maybe I was giving off the wrong impression. At least that is what my friend said. I on the other hand thought I was making myself very clear about taking it slow and not rushing. WEll yesterday this person called me like all day. I would tell them "oh, I'm being rude to my friends I will call u back later which I was. Like 30 min later they would call me back even tho I said I was busy. SO then I stop answering. I cant take someone somthering me. I need my space and I dont like talking on the phone all damn day. This person called me about 15 times in a 4 hour span. Not only that they called me from unknown and had a friend I dont really know call me as well. With them on three way, but they thought I was BRAND NEW and did not know. This was also after I called back after the first 8 missed calls and said stop calling me so much. I am busy and I will call u back. I mean I dont understand. If you know someone is busy and not answering WHY would you keep calling me. THis leads me to believe everyone on the internet is KooKoo for COCO Puffs. THe biggest thing is I have nerver met this person. WE are in that talking stage. Me deciding if they are worth meeting and not crazy. Well I guess I know the truth now. I mean the person seemed like someone I could at least be friends with. Now its a different story. ****I also have noticed that ppl need to stop getting high/drunk b/c they tend to tell others buisiness. These newbies can not handle it man. I am so calm and cool when I am intoxicated. Others run off at the mouth and start telling me shit I didint know. Of course (winks) I will never admit I know or bring it up, but its weird the things ppl dont wont u to know. LOL but they felt confortable telling the person that just told their dirt. O well I guess we all trust in certain ppl for differnt reasons. I can only think of one secret I told. I use to regret it, but now i'm happy I did for many reason. I think it was for the best and it will help more than it will hurt in the long run. *****So my "I Survived Rita" party is yet to take form b/c all but 2 of my friends left( ha ha losers). That's all folks ~smooches~

Imma Survivor (Ha Ha RIta U Missed)

I made it lol. Well Rita took a turn and pretty much missed us. We got a little rain and some crazy wind but we aight. Our power is not off either odviously, so we came out very blessed. The new problem with our area is getting ppl back in. I mean everything is closed and there is no gas. Houston is almost like a ghost town. Their advising us not to leave our house wvwn tho the storm has passed. MY question is why would you leave ur house unless u going down the street. I mean EVERYTHING is closed. I think I may die of bordom or kill my cousins b4 we are released. Upside is no school or work untill most likely Wendsday. There is about to be some horrible traffic again with all the ppl coming back in. I pray someone sends us some gas or we are shit outta luck. I think I'm going to have a I Survived Rita Party with some Margaritas lol. I need a drink after all the work we did to secure my sissy's house. I need to smoke lol. I can't wait to buy a fat 20 sac lol ~SMooches~

Writers Block

When I get in a mood I dont wanna talk or type. I been in that modd for a minute as u can see. So life hasne been so bad since the last time I wrote. Still job searching, but I did get unemployment for my last stupid job. I'm home alone. My sister and fam is in Maine whale atching and such, while I am perparing for another Katrina named Rita. Ppl are not takeing this very seriously. I pray this will not be as bad and I wont be floating to saftey with my family. This is too weird tho. I mean is it a Coincident that most of the N.O ppl came to Houston and now we are getting hit with it. Someone or thing is trying to tell us something. I'm not going to mention my theory b/c ppl keep freaking out when I do.
*********************************************************************************So my sister left on Saturday. I've had 2 parties thus far. This storm is messing up my weekend. Anyway they were nice get together. I've noticed that I am an extra generous person b/c I like to see ppl have a good time. I see these ppl as my friends and thats what real friends to right. The second pary was great b/c there was no dry ppltheir like the one b4. I dont understand ppl that come to parties that really dont drink or smoke when u know that is whats going to happen. YOu make everyone is the room annoyed. STAY AT HOME. The second party was great until a "friend" who I now realixe after 5 years of putting up with shit, that he is not down for me. He does shit ll the time and expects ppl to deal with it even after you have told him how you feel about it. Its like him repeatedly saying Fuck YOu or spitting on your face. he shows up to my house yet again with a thief and a hoe. I mean I dont really talk to these ppl he brought to my house and on top of that he didnt tell me he was bringing them. He is so fraud in so many was. The worst part is I have told him a million times about bringing ppl not only to my house but other friends house without letting them know. I mean we have a close group of friends that hang out. We all know how each other is and we accept that. The ppl he insist on bring is really out of place. I was so mad. I almost let is ruin my night until I made the decision. I'm done with him. He has no respect,shit I dont think he even cares for anyone but himself. ITs all about what he can get from you or someone else. Its real sad b/c everyone is like that is how he is. WTF why should you let someone be like that to you. I know exactly why I have been dealing with is for the last year b/c I feel obligated and responsible for a grown ass man's actions. Now I'm done. I cant call this person my friend. Sadly I dont thnk he will ever change. He doesnt know it yet but he has lost me. The only person that is always there for him. I'm done with BS friendships that are a one way waste of time. ~smooches~

Bend Dont Break

So on THursday I got fired from my job b/c business is slow and I was unwilling to do the inaccurate telemarketing they wanted. I kinda of figured this would happen. I havent really told anyone. Everyone knows how I am when I am unemployed. I got into block out mod. I stop calling ppl and do me. I dont wanna go out, b/c I aint got the paper for that. I am so strong willed and independent. I'm just ugh with everyone right now. Ppls tru colors are showing and I'm beginning to wonder why I try. SO, the only way any of them will know is if they read my blog. Which I am noticing ppl are then calling me asking me shit I know I didnt tell them. I'm just tired of being the one putting in all the effort or not feeling supported when I need it. I am always there when ppl need me b/c that is the kind of person I am. I listen give advice and do what I can when you need me. Ppl dont do that shit to often with me. I feel like there is never anyone here to truely lean on in CONFIDENCE. Not depressed yet. I cant be without a job tho. That shit is too boring for me. I will go crazy. Pray for me and all our new residents/ refugees.
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On a lighter note, A friend and I went out on Friday. I really didnt want to go, but she seems to be able to guilt me or what have u into doing shit I dont want to b/c I feel bad. So we went to this club. Which sucked so I wanted to leave after the 1st drink. So we left and went to this after spot that wasnt hype yet b/c it was too early. So I was like just take me home. Of course I can never get what I ask. Her response is no, I dont want to go home yet. I mean I dont understand some women. You so happy with your good man ( who is really trif), but you wanna go out and find some dick on the side. Why? Get rid of the bullshit you already got in ya life b4 u go get some more. And I swear I am sick of women one minute talking about how horrible they man is and when I tell you the truth like you ask me too and you start defending him. DO me a fucking favor. Dont tell me shit. I dont want to know. You not gonna leave so keep the shit to yaself. Then these women are the main ones to tell you why you aint got a (triffling) man like theirs. NEWS FLASH I dont want a man like urs. I would rather be by my damn self. Anyway, She begs me for like 30 minutes to go into this place that I knew was damn near empty and I wouldnt like. I wasted $5 and I didnt like the shit. So we left like an hour later. As we walk to the car a dude in the car beside us ask her what is my name. She tells him and he's like tell her to come here. So I was like you tell him to come here. I almost lost my mine when she tells me. He like big girls you betta go to him. LMMFAO. Its really sad b/c she is a big gurl too. I mean just b/c a dude finds me attractive doesnt mean I have to talk to him or fall over trying to get to him. Like I should be glad he wants me. WTF. Slowness. Anyway the dude came over. Seemed nice. Exchanged Numbers and that was it. Then she tells me. You so uppity. Please ppl tell me if I was wrong. I mean if its really that important and you want to talk to me because You are attracted to me shouldnt you make the effort and vice versa. Am I wrong. I mean he didnt seem to have a problem with it. Whateva. My sister says I'm way to tolerant of this friend and perhaps I should kick her to the curb. I'm just not like that. I try to see the good in ppl when the shit aint there. ~Smooches~

Prayer

I am a native houstonian and most of the victims of Katrina are coming here to live until things are back to normal in LA. Its so sad seeing these ppl bused in with nothing but the clothes on there back. I was listening to the radio and Shelia Jackson Lee was talking about how we all need to help, mostly the black community b/c these are mostly our ppl. SHe also said that these victims will ot be here just for a month. The clean up is going to tak MONTHS maybe the rest of the year. Big up to Houston b/c we are stepping up and helping out. I encourage everyone too. I mean all the kids that are here have nothing and they have to go to school here for the next few months. Theses ppl have no where to stay. They are currently thousands in our Astrodome. I can only pray for the ppl that are still there stuck or didint make it through. The worst thing is hearing BUsh sorry ass on tv talking sbout how gas prices could rise again b/c of this and how he is doing all in his power to keep it from happening. Yea fucking right U know whats about to happen right. All this miltary ppl going to New orleans have the same rights as police oficers. People are about to die. Gas is about to rise. Things are about to change. NOw bush is allowing foriegn ships to bring gas to America. OMG r u that stupid. It is the perfect time to attck us. WE are wounded and now he's just gonna let them in. Pray ppl. PEACE ~Smooches~