Dang! Its been awhile,but I just haven't had the urge to write. I'm lost. Its like I'm in a maze and I know the right way b/c I've been here b4 but I cant bring myself to get out. I'm so comfortable in my rut of counter productive behavior I don't know anything else. I am so off track and it would be so easy to get back on. MY problem is that I am too inpatient. I want things to change over night when I know it not an option. I also procrastinate like no other. I always put off the important things though. The things I need I find away to convince myself they can wait. In the end I'm full of regret. I know the life I see for myself is way more than what I'm living right now. ***************************************************************************************
So on a lighter note. I've been good meeting new ppl and some old ppl that r just new to me now. I stared talking to this chick I went to high school with. Now in high school we were cool b/c we had gym together, but that about it. She was into not doing work or even coming to school most of the time among other things. I was on my grind trying to do well. We hung out the other day and it was weird b/c she is so opposite of anyone I would hang out with b/c of the shady/ criminal things she does. I think I could write a book about this chick tho. IT might be better the the Coldest Winter Ever. Her life is like a ghetto novel for sure. She is so smart when it comes to hustling and getting over one someone. She tries to convince me of how easy it is.but that is not my style. I'm book smart. I can tell you how to improve your profit from you schemes, but I cant personally get involved. I may not be on tract right no,b UT I got shit to do with my life and it don't include JAIL. I admire a lot about her tho. One of the best days I had in awhile. Its good to see the other life sometimes . ***********************************************************************************
LAtely I feel like ppl have been making little comments I don't really like. I know yall remember the chick I had to read a a while back. Well now her and my friend have started talking again which is so cool. YOU choose the company you keep not ME. Anyway little comments have been made like. From one friend " I have learned (since the incident) that you cant mix friends". WTF does that mean. Then another friend said "well you said some things that were not at the appropriate time and that was wrong but you should just let it go and be friends again" WTF is it just me or r they saying in a nice way that what I did was wrong and they can bring no one around me. I mean I could understand if I talked that crazy to ppl on the regular, but this is the 1st time and the BITCH deserved it. Then I had a party last week and one of my friend (who was planning it with me) invited her. Oddly I didn't have a problem with this. I can be civil. I had been civil the whole time with her. What really pissed me off is my friend telling ppl that I was sorry for what I said. Just so everyone can understand "I AM NOT SORRY FOR CALLING HER ON HER BULLSHIT AND NEVER IN LIFE WILL I APOLOGIZE." maybe its just me. but I'm sure I will her about this later from someone. Anyways that's all my ranting for now. ~smooches~ SFC