Unconditonal Lovers

I have a problem. Maybe its not a problem but it doesnt help make my life any easier. I am an UNCONDITIONAL LOVER. Sometimes I think it is a curse. I have the ability to see peoples true aura. Maybe I see what God really wants them to be. I block out or accept their HORRIBLE faults and see through to there good heart. I believe everyone has this ability with certain individuals, but no everyone can love this way. I mean when do u reach the point of no return when all that good shit u see inside doesnt mask the ugly person some people are determined to be? How long do u alow urself to be the idiot and swallow all the hurt feelings? I'm at a point were I can't do it anymore. It seems I have been seeing the good in certain ppl for a little to long and now I don't believe there is any. Now i believe I am delusional. All this hope I had for them to change or at least WANT to be a better person b/c that is what I show them is gone. I love so hard unfortunately sometimes harder than I love myself, which is my own fault. I can't allow my life to be so affected by someone I love that I cant recognize that I am no longer happy. This is no longer ok to love someone so much for so long and still feel like they don't give a shit. I thought maybe I should change myself, be more cold and unloving like them, but in all honest its not me. No matter how much I pretend not to care I do. I can no longer pretend it doesnt hurt or I dont cry when I do. Even though this will be the hardest thing I have ever done I dont see any other way. People never appreciate what they have until its gone. Unfortunately it will be too late to get it by then. When I thought about writin this post it started completely different. I started with me think of my grandmother. WE call her TiTi. She was no blood relation. Back in the day people that couldnt take care or want their kids would just give them to someone. Well that is what happen to my mom. She still knew her real family, but she grew up with TiTi. This is a women who never had any children of her own. She took in kid people couldnt or didnt want to take care of and raised them as her own. I never met a women quite like her. Her abitlity to love people that were nothing to her unconditionally was amazing. People would do some horrible shit to her and she would still have their back whe shit got funky. I never understood it as a child. It was passed to my mother and then to me i guess. I would look at them and think "Why dont u just leave them alone. They dont want to do right and probably never wiil." It is amazing what kind of hope UNCONDITIONAL LOVE gives u. Its like we believe our love can change anything, in time. Now that I am older I dont know if I believe it. The worst part is I don't know if I believe it and even if I did I dont think I would change. I love seeing the best in people most of the time. How long do U have to see the best in them b4 they finally see it and change to it as well?????
~Smooches~