IDIOTS OF THE WEEK

I've been wanting to start and idiot of the week blog. I encounter so many Idiots on a daily basis, be it driving, watching the news, or/and WORK. I'm going to test out the response here and see what happens. On with the point

THE IDIOTS OF THE WEEK ARE

THESE BITCHES I WORK WITH

Lets call this person Amy. Oh and I pray am reads this just to let her know she is not fooling nobody, but herself. So, this new chick joins our company after they make this place so undesirable the other lady quits. I mean that was the new boss's(lets call her OGM for Old Googley Moogley) plan all along. She wanted to get this poor (although quite stupid, but so is she) Lady outta her so she could hire her friend. Before this lady quit she hips me to the game my new overtly friendly boss was up to. OGM likes to smile in your face and talk shit behind your back to the VP. The sad part is all she does is talk shit about the VP. I bet she doesn't mention that when she is in there kissing his ass. Anyway, the OGM slipped up by talking shit about the chick that quit to a lady that works at company we use. Unknown to her (and still is) the lady she was talking shit to was, the lady that quit, really good friend. So the whole time she was talking shit to her,the women went back at told the other lady. Just a little side info of how stupid and sneaky these ppl are. The funniest part is I knew this shit was happening all along and I could have very well told OGM or the other annoy bitch that quit, but I had a feeling they both were fraud and It was entertaining (yes I know I am EVIL MAHAHAHAHA). So back to Amy the Idiot. Amy comes to work for us. Things get better and she is doing an ok job besides asking me a million fucking questions all day. This I don't mind much b/c everyone has to learn new shit at some point and I was in her position a few months ago, learning our system. The problem is she is just too clueless about normal shit ppl should know. As a matter of fact most of her questions where computer questions in general. Like she was sending emails to our customers in all CAPS. I told her in computer speak that is yelling and it looks lazy and unprofessional. She replies with " Oh, I didn't know that." Great, now you know and you should stop. Tell me why this heffa is stills ending emails the same way. Some Idiots never learn. She also has this habit of calling me when she doesn't know how to spell a word like "Office," I kid you not. She asked me how to spell that. Now every time I advise her all the computers in the office have spell check and the internet. I'm assuming she doesn't understand what that means b/c the bitch keeps calling me. So like 2-3 weeks after she is with us, I come into the office and she starts telling me how she needs to train me for when she is gone. I'm like "Where are you going?" She proceeds to tell me this long ass story about how she JUST found out she was 6 month pregnant. Now I know its possible for you not to know you are pregnant, so at first I believed her. Let me stop lying I knew the bitch was lying from the beginning. They knew (her and OGM) if she didn't get in right then they were going to find someone else to hire. SO, they let her FAT ASS come here knowing she was pregnant all along. Then this heffa has the nerve to say "I don't look pregnant do I?" I say NO, but I'm thinking hell fuck yeah you do, I just thought you were extra fat and did not want to be rude. So, now all of a sudden after this bitch has been looking fat this whole time, no she looks pregnant, which leads me to believe she was trying to hide the shit. Then she comes back the next week w/ this whole "The doctor says I can't lift anything heavy." This I am also aware of and I understand why, but BITCH I AM NOT YOUR NEW BELL BOY/SLAVE. Ever since they told her this shit, I am the designated pick shit up BITCH. The other day this bitch ask me to carry 8 folders that were not full from my desk to her's. Let me say she is skating on thin ice and will soon get her ass cussed out. So, then a few days later she says "Yall (yeah we in TX), I went to the doctor yesterday and guess how much I weigh. 210 pounds (by the way she is like 5*6). Do you know how much I weigh when I'm not pregnant? 156 pounds." Then I think to myself, BITCH how is it you didn't know you were pregnant or at least concerned by a 50 pound weight gain in 6 month. The bitch is Lying and no one can convince me otherwise. As a matter of fact ERRBODY up there is a fucking Idiot for believing this lame ass story.

Now, to the next idiot my new boss lets call her Old Googly Moogly( OGM ) b/c that's what that heffa looks like. She is like 40 and looks 60. This heffa goes on and on about how all the men she has ever been with were drop dead Sexy. Later she tells the story of her last Sexy man who house sat for her and when she came back all her jewelry and anything else that could be transported easily was gone. So pretty much her fine men use her for her money,then kick her to the curb. This is the same boss that likes to talk shit. Both of these bitches are messy and I am so sure they talk shit about me. Unknown to my stupid new boss, I know how trifflin she is. She tries to get me to tell her shit about my life. BITCH, do you think I am an idiot. I do not need you in my Kool-aid like that. The other day , I taught her how to select more than one file to copy and paste. How they Fuck do you not know how to do this. You Freaking IDIOT.

Then Last and Certainly not least is my Big Boss/ VP (I've written about him before). How the hell he has landed this job is a miracle in itself. Don't get me wrong I've said b4 these ppl know a lot about the business, but everyone knows shit b/c obsolete and that what's going to happen to them. All they know is how the business works, they don't know shit else. For instance, right now all 3 of them (OGM, AMY and VP) are in his office trying to help him write a letter to all our customers who haven't been using us lately. This is how the letter starts "Sometimes in life we lose friends and sometimes in life we lose business friends." LMAO that shit sounds retarded and its probably why they don't use our company anymore. Every time this dude sends out an email he has spelling errors. The worst part is his Outlook is set up to spell check before he sends an email. This mean the shit is so misspelled Spell check doesn't even know what they hell he is talking about. The fact that they allow him to write letters to customers amazes me. I remember when I first started he had me retype a annoucement of our new manager coming on board. He told me not to change anything, but after reading it I couldn't do it. I changed like half of it and gave it back. He had to know I fixed the shit, but he didn't say anything. He is also like the most computer illiterate man I know. Today he showed me how you can listen to music free on Yahoo Messenger. The sad part is its not like a fucking secret, everyone has the Yahoo radio shit at the bottom. He thought he found some shit like the fountain of youth or something. I could go on for days, instead I will just stamp IDIOT on his forehead and move on.

Enough ranting about these idiots. I'm sure I'll find more idiots next week and will report their Idiot antics for your amusement and pleasure. ~Smooches~