I just want to be SUCCESSFUL

this blog use to be my life. I would blog faithfully, but life has changed and things are super busy. Although, things have changed I think it is important to get back to what you are use to. I have so much shit to say and not enough intelligent people to listen to it. So, why not share my enlightment with the world lol.

Back

I started a new blog and started writing on it, but there is really no place like home. I thought this blog had too much history, but is really just has all my growth. This blog shows me going from a unsettled woman in search of her sexuality. In search of acceptance, to who I am now. I am secure in how I am and what I am. I am learning that others opinions of me don't matter. The only thing that matters I that I am happy with my life and I can look back with no regrets. I am older but I still feel young, like I have so much to learn and that excites me and disappoints me. I feel like I've been through so much already, what could be next. I know without a doubt my path will be great and I will achieve all I ever dreamed...in time.

So, lets recap the growth. I am a lesbian, I have gained my independence, I am walking the path to my success, I am motivated and ready for greatness. I am single and hating it, I finally came out to my mother, one of the hardest things I have ever done. I have loved a few women and at the end I wondered why, but I am finally starting to see the lesson. I am learning that everything isn't meant to be compromised.

I just turned 26 and my life was consumed with school and work and my small social life. Now I am on summer break, laid off, and wonder what they hell am I suppose to do with myself. I am bored beyond belief. There are no distractions. I truly have me time and it scares the shit out of me. I feel all the emotions I don't have time to feel when my life is in full force. I feel lonely, bored, depressed, happy, excited, and insane all at the same time.

I have to figure out how to be happy alone with no distractions. I finally have to do some soul searching in myself and I don't want to. Or maybe I simply don't know how to start. All of this has happened for a reason I believe is for me to figure out some shit.

Follow me on my journey...

~Smooches~